A Decorated Stranger On A Plane

 

Every job has its positives and negatives depending on a person’s point of view. Now I get to travel regularly and work with educators around the country helping them learn and grow so that their students and community can benefit. There are definitely times the travel can take its toll whether it’s being tired with early/late flights and time changes or missing the family. Having the flexibility to positively impact so many communities while being able to do a considerable amount of work from home also allows me to be more present as my children grow, something that was often difficult while leading school districts and all the issues that come with it.  There are also other bonuses to the travel, especially getting to meet new people.

During a recent trip, I was sitting on a fully booked plane waiting for us to get underway. The only seat that was not taken yet was the one next to me by the window. I was settling in with some reading when a lady sitting behind me got out of her seat and walked past. This made me look up as once people are in their seats before takeoff, they usually stay there. I then noticed an older gentleman trying to make his way down the aisle, carrying a heavy carry-on duffle bag. The lady had gotten up to help him with the bag and stow in in the overhead bin. After I got done kicking myself for not paying attention to another person in need, I realized the gentleman was likely my seat mate for the connecting flight in Charlotte. 

As he approached, I got up from me seat to allow him to reach his.  I noticed he also had a shopping bag that you might see from a Hallmark store.  In the bag was a larger white box making me think he had a present to give someone once he reached his destination.  He was probably barely over five feet tall and was wearing comfortable clothes for his trip.  The one thing that stood out the most was the ball cap he was wearing. It had a skull with the words, “one shot, one kill” underneath. As many of my family members were in the various branches, the hat did not look like an official one that many veterans might wear. Then I noticed a pin attached high on the cap. It stated Vietnam Veteran. Then and there I decided my book could wait until later as it would never be as interesting as it would be to chat with this American hero.

As he sat down and put the shopping bag between his feet, he said hi and introduced himself.  I found out quickly that Phil was originally from Eastern Kentucky and was flying to Columbus to visit his hometown after several years away.  I asked him if he flew often, and he told me he used to much more and “at least I’m not jumping out of this one.”  That comment seemed to solve part of the mystery surrounding Phil’s story but also made me want to learn so much more. Phil immediately reminded me of my grandfather.

While Phil served in Vietnam, my grandfather and his two brothers all served in the Navy during WWII. It has been almost 18 years since my grandfather passed from a second bout of colon cancer just before his 84^th birthday. I can still remember the stories he told of being stationed in England early during his deployment and being able to get leave to visit distant family from his father’s hometown near Glasgow. Or how the mine sweeper he was on in the Pacific would tilt sideways during rough seas.  Or how his ship, the USS Pochard was one of the first Allied ships into Tokyo Bay to check for mines before the USS Missouri made its way in. I may have heard these stories multiple times and would often ask him about others. One time he told me about being deployed to Nagasaki. I was old enough to know that he meant after the atomic bomb was dropped there. He started to tell more but quickly changed the subject. It was clear that he was deeply affected by what he saw. 

I could sense the same feeling coming from Phil so didn’t ask him any questions about his service and just let him talk. He started telling me stories of growing up in Eastern Kentucky and how Nixon drafted him in 1971. He figured, “if they wanted me so bad, I’m going to stick around until they get rid of me.” He ended up serving for 20 years and 3 days. He made one comment about how so much of his time would come back in his dreams. Instead of talking more about those 20 years, he talked about his two daughters, especially his youngest. He described how she overcame every barrier in her way, including being far shorter and smaller than everyone else, to serve in the Army and rise through the ranks during her 25 years. It was easy to see how proud he was of her, so much so I could feel it. He didn’t fail to mention his wife, Elizabeth, times multiple and how she was a saint for putting up with him.

When the right opportunity presented itself, I asked Phil where he served during his 20 years. He simply replied, “multiple continents with places on a map that don’t even have a name.”  He then told me how he learned to shoot from his mother, and she was the best shot he had ever seen.  When he was drafted, the Master Sargeant quickly realized how good of a shot Phil was. It became clear that I was sitting next to a sniper from the 81^st Airborne. He told me stories about shooting tests they gave him including hitting the same quarter twice while it was thrown into the air. From someone else that likely would have come across as bravado or a half truth, but from Phil, I had no doubt that, if anything, he was understating his experiences. Phil then showed me what looked like scar from a hole in his left hand. “This is where a bullet went through,” then a scar on his left wrist. “This is from the enemy’s knife when I ran out of bullets.” Then just like that we were on the ground.

I had made the decision long before landing, that I would help Phil get to his connecting flight, even though it was in the opposite direction of my own. As people started to get up in front of us, Phil said it will be “nice to finally get Elizabeth home.” It’s then that I realized, his beloved wife’s remains were in the large white box and he was taking her to his hometown for her final rest. Whenever he mentioned her, it was in the present tense.  I had no idea the entire flight that she was travelling with him. It took everything I had to not let my watering eyes turn into crying right then and there. She had died on December 9^th of COPD after being weakened by chemo over the past two years of fighting cancer during the pandemic.

As we disembarked, another gentleman thanked Phil for his service.  It clearly bothered him, but he merely stated thank you. As we walked on, he told me how “he wouldn’t have thanked me if he only knew the things I had to do.” Once we reached his gate, Phil thanked me for the conversation and for listening to an “old man’s stories.” If only he knew how truly grateful I was for crossing his path. Just as the Veterans of WWII were the elder population when I was growing up, our Vietnam Veterans now are the elder generation for my own children. We all must take every opportunity to listen to and affirm the stories of those that served and currently serve, so can begin to understand the sacrifices they paid and still pay when “the past comes back in their dreams.”  Thank you, Phil, for sharing a little bit of yourself, with a random guy on a plane, who is a better person for meeting you.

Mental Health Benefits of Martial Arts

Self-defense, competitiveness, and the improvement of physical, mental, and spiritual well-being are the goals of martial arts training. The martial arts originated in Sri Lanka about 3,000 years ago and spread to China, India, Korea, Europe, and the United States.

Martial arts training improves physical health and instills self-control and self-belief. Practicing martial arts is an excellent way to enhance physical and mental health and overall well-being. Some martial arts encourage meditation, deep breathing, and mindfulness to help alleviate anxiety. Keeping your mind peaceful and aware at the same time may be helpful in other aspects of life as well.

Martial arts students can build muscle mass and achieve a more aesthetically pleasing physique. The more muscle mass you have, the greater your metabolic needs grow. Hence, even while your body is at rest, it will burn more calories.

The ability to react quickly is necessary for martial arts. Every martial artist knows how crucial it is to block and dodge their opponent's punches, whether sparring or competing. The more you practice, the better your reflexes get, and the quicker you respond in all areas of your life. Driving and cooking are two examples of daily activities that benefit from fast reflexes.

Martial arts also teaches you a repertoire of self-defense skills such as strategic kicks and punches. As you build confidence in your punching abilities, you will learn life-saving tactics that will defend you in the face of danger.

In martial arts, movement and agility are essential, and practicing martial arts is a good way to build these skills. A powerful punch or kick requires a combination of technique and strength, so correct form is essential.

Some martial art techniques involve brute force. Over time, these kicks, punches, and other motions strengthen your entire body. Practicing martial arts two to three times a week is a good way to stay in shape. The United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends 150 minutes a week of moderate-intensity aerobic activity.

Some martial arts, such as Muay Thai and mixed martial arts (MMA), demand a great deal of flexibility. A flexible physique lessens the risk of injury. To improve your blood pressure, engage in any martial arts activity. The repetitive actions strengthen your cardiovascular system by lowering your resting heart rate and blood pressure.

Martial arts training lowers cholesterol in two ways. First, lowering weight stimulates enzymes that transfer LDL from your blood to your liver, where it is processed and eliminated. Exercise also raises the size of "lipoproteins," the protein particles that carry cholesterol in the blood. Smaller lipoproteins are dangerous for you because they can get stuck in your cardiovascular system. Exercising hard helps your blood lipids grow bigger and healthier. Numerous studies have also demonstrated that regular physical activity can benefit mental well-being. Martial arts training will help relieve your daily stressors and allow you to focus on the tasks at hand.

Martial arts typically come with ideologies that help trainees discover more about themselves, encouraging self-discipline and healthy competition. Martial arts classes are a fantastic way to meet new individuals from various areas of life, and their shared commitment to their craft may help people bond.

When We Stop Believing

 

As I sit to write this latest blog post, all is finally quiet in the Hughes house. Well, as quiet as is possible with four kids, two dogs, and two in-laws in a pear tree. It’s Christmas evening, so all the kids are busy with their new presents. The adults are slowly passing out from the exhaustion of getting ready for today. As parents, we spend far too much time worrying about making everything perfect even though perfection is an impossible concept to reach.

Christmas isn’t the only time, we as parents, do everything we can to give our children the best.  Maybe it’s driving them to the seemingly endless list of activities. Some of the them they ask us to take them to, while others we get them involved without any expressed interest on their part. We want to give them as many opportunities as possible to find their likes and dislikes. Other times, we try to protect our little ones from hurt and even disappointment.

As parents, we carry on traditions passed down from our parents, religion, or society. If you are reading this around your child, now might be the time to make sure they are not reading along with you.  Warning…Spoilers ahead! Some of those traditions involve taking on the duties of magical creatures like the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and ole Saint Nick. From the time we discover Santa and his friends aren’t “real”, the holidays seem to lose some of their magic. But when we have our first child, the holidays come with a greater importance.  We now get to be the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy. No one ever tells you how to do so or what to do, but the magic seems to come back when we now can see it through the eyes of our children. We want to preserve their innocence and the feeling of joy we get from seeing their smiling faces as long as we possibly can. Time passes ever so quickly.

This week I experienced a loss of some of that joy.  A few days ago, I walked into my oldest daughter’s room, Jenna.  She was talking with her older and only brother, Evan. You know that gut feeling you get when your children suddenly get quiet and seem to be up to something?  Well, that happened right then.  Of course, they said they weren’t doing anything, but a parent knows when there is a disturbance in the Force. The next day, I found out what caused the disturbance.  They were talking through how there could not possibly a Santa Claus. My son used his new found middle school logic and maturity while Jenna used her personal skills to deduce that Mom always changes the subject when asked about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc. She also let me know that she knew the Tooth Fairy wasn’t real for a long time, since she was nine. She turns 11 in February 😊 While she was excited to help keep the secret and move the Elf (thank you for wanting to move the evil Elf!) for her younger sisters, I could see some of that innocence leave my son. Man, it did not feel good. We knew this would happen someday. Well, that and the hair growing on his upper lip and the deepening voice have been recent other clues. But it’s still a gut punch to realize your first born is no longer a little boy. 

The recent events caused me to reflect on what it means to believe in Santa and other traditions. It led me to think about how we don’t have to stop believing in childhood experiences as our own children get older or as we slowly turn gray. That the traditions we experienced and now pass onto all of our children are truly about hope. Hope for the a better tomorrow. Hope for their future and ours. It’s the same kind of hope that has kept educators going during tough times in the classroom and especially during the pandemic.  I’m not saying that as educators, we must believe in Santa or other fictional characters. What we need to continue believing in is the innocence of childhood, hope for their future and our role in creating smile generating learning experiences.

Tell Me Your Story

 

Have you ever met someone that tells a good story? As they tell the story, you are just pulled in and can imagine being there in the middle of it all? Sometimes the story is funny, while at other times it’s filled with challenges and tragic events. We all might not be gifted storytellers, but every single one of us has a story to tell that deserves to be heard.

As educators, part of our job is to tell stories. Some of us do this in the classic way of weaving together historical events to help students better understand what and why things happened the way they did. Other teachers use the written word through the perspective of various authors, past and current, to provide context that can be factual or fictional. As a biology and chemistry teacher, my goal was to tell a story by leaving out key bits of information. Missing information requires students to follow a path of scientific discovery to formulate a hypothesis and then conduct research to determine the most likely reasons why things happen the way they do. The same process can be applied when assisting students to uncover their own feelings and stories.

One of the most significant tasks for every educator is building a connection with their student while helping them to uncover, understand, and appreciate their own stories. While we might experience some similar events during our lifetimes, each of us has our own unique story. As human beings, our brains evolved to look for patterns. The concept of “average”, or a single typical example representing the whole, comes from our need to identify patterns, even if they are wrong. This concept seems even more prevalent today. If someone falls on either side of debate, they are either a Republican or a Democrat or pro-this and anti-that. Once they are categorized as one party or the other, far too many of us assume that everyone in that party thinks and believes the same thing. Every person put into a pattern grouping is the exact same despite their inherent differences and personal stories.

As someone who grew up in a rural farming community in Western New York, almost everything was homogenized, whether we realized it or not. Only after being exposed to the greater world, did I begin to truly realize how different each of our experiences can be. Differences from one community to another, from one neighborhood to another, and one person to another provide us with much needed varied perspectives and understanding. These perspectives come from the different stories each of us live. Some of the components in our stories will be similar, even when we come from very different places, geographically and culturally. The challenge is to listen and truly hear the stories of those with different lived experiences, without being dismissive, even if we may not agree with some of their perspectives, opinions, or ideas.

When we don’t acknowledge the stories of others, we do irreparable harm to not only the people who are sharing them, but ourselves. How can we truly understand ourselves if we fail to recognize the stories of others? By failing to do so, we further isolate ourselves from other perspectives, which in turn, reaffirms the beliefs and ideas of the circle we most often tread. The concept of isolation in this context was a powerful realization for me. I have Dr. Marck Abraham to thank for that. I not only consider Dr. Abraham a colleague on a shared mission of making this world a better place, but also a friend. We may come from very different lived experiences, but the passion we share binds us together. By actively working to break down real and self-created barriers to our isolation, we can begin to empathetically listen to each other’s stories without looking to fix others. If we can open our ears, minds, and hearts to others it means we are willing to affirm their truths thereby providing a far richer story for all of us to share as one people.