Flashbacks to Middle School

 

The day has come…the first day of school.  This start to the school year feels very different than previous openings for a few reasons. It’s the first time in 42 years than I am not a part of the hustle and bustle as either a student or an educator. It’s different but I definitely am enjoying the new path (more on that some other time). Second, it’s the first time in two years that school is opening in a somewhat normal way.  Yes, we are still in a pandemic with mask mandates and adults arguing what’s best for their child, but most schools are back to their pre-pandemic schedules with buses full of students. I’ll write more about schools pre and post pandemic some other time, but today is about kids walking back into buildings, seeing old friends, making new friends, and building relationships with the teachers and staff.  The pandemic has been so long that my youngest child, entering 2^nd grade today, has never had a normal full year of school.  Her Kindergarten year was cut short in March of 2020 and a large chunk of 1^st grade was back and forth between hybrid and online learning into 2021. I hope beyond all hope that she and all other children can have a truly rememberable year of personal growth with support and kindness from all those around them.

The big difference for this year is a bit more personal as my oldest is starting middle school. As parents, we all go through this change. Where did the time go?  How is my baby so tall and grown up? Am I really that old? Some of us are then transported back to our time in middle school. The fashion of the day like Bugle Boy jeans, rolled pant legs, boat shoes, and some of the hairstyles, which might have included big hair due to all the ozone destroying hairspray. Like so many of us, I look back and just shake my head in disbelief.  We were at the age where we thought we knew everything but were oh so clueless. 

As a former middle school principal, I can tell you the research is all true.  Children lose half their minds during the middle school years as they mutate from kids into tweens then teens. Besides their bodies beginning to go through so many changes, their brains go through a reorganization process with significant growth that doesn’t stop developing into their early 20s, especially for males. I’m sure there is a joke in there about why guys take so long to mature and that their brains never reach full development.  My wife would likely agree with you.  

As adults, we don’t really like change. We might want things to be different but seldom what the change to happen to us. Change creates uncertainty which in turn creates stress. We are evolutionarily wired to make sense out of the onslaught of sensory information and uncertainty around us thereby turning uncertainty into a semblance of controlled chaos all to make us feel better.  For middle school students, uncertainty is the name of the game. They are trying to figure out the world around them and inside them despite all the changes their bodies and brains are experiencing.  The smiling child we knew previously is now replaced with a grumpy teenager.  Don’t believe me?  If you look through old school and family pictures, you can find the exact point in time the changes started to occur. The former smile transforms to a look of disgust for having to take a picture, usually followed by an exclamation of WHAT?!?

Even though I understand and can appreciate the normal maturation process still to come, I have hopes for this school year and the others yet to come. I hope that each child will find support and affirmation from the adults around them, to grow their understanding of the world around them but to also feed their creative and critical thinking. I hope that each child has or finds at least one close friend to share both the fun and anxious times that are sure to come.  I hope that each child explores who they are, how they feel and what brings them joy.  Finally, I hope that each child will be able to look back and smile as they remember this part of their journey to becoming who they will ultimately be.