A Special Gift

 

October is here.  As my four kids remind me daily, Halloween is only four weeks away. Based on their excitement, it seems that it’s tomorrow. For many, Halloween is the start of the holiday season. Thanksgiving follows a few weeks later with Christmas and other celebrations soon thereafter.  Of course, the big box stores are telling us that it might already be the giving season.  That got me thinking about giving and gifts.

Giving and gifts can mean so many different things.  For our children, Halloween is an expedition to find the house that gives out full size candy bars. My kids know that there will be a Dad tax levied on their candy bounty so they plot to hide it before I can get to it. In our house, the Fall is also the start of the birthday cycle.  Every two months, one of our four children have a birthday. With their birthdays being so close to Christmas, each often creates a birthday and Christmas wish list starting in August. My wife and I are fortunate that we can provide our children with some of the gifts they desire but we truly focus on different types of giving.

Giving of one’s time doesn’t cost us anything but can make a huge difference.  Volunteering to a local charity or organization allows us to help our neighbors.  With the pandemic now affecting a third school year, many are feeling isolated and missing the connection with others. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone is simply to include them. This might be a relative, a neighbor or a child dealing with trauma and uncertainty caused and/or increased by the pandemic.

Giving our time to others might not seem like much.  Time is what it takes to build relationships and connections. I might be biased, but there is no group of people that give so freely of their time than educators do. Educators are not only teachers, but everyone that can make an impact in the life of a child. The good ones among us know that what we teach is not as important as how we teach and connect with our students. It includes spending time to get to know each of our students, to see them for who they are, and to provide them with opportunities to grow beyond their current understanding of the world. My youngest was given a gift from an educator that I must share.

The most important thing a parent can do is to spend time with their children. It doesn’t really matter what they do together but that the child feels safe and connected to the parent. I grew up in a single parent household.  My mother did the best she could but not having my father in my life truly affected me.  After the birth of each of my children, I’ve always worried if I am being the father they deserve as I didn’t have a role model.  One thing I’ve tried to do is spend one on one time with each child. This has turned into either going on an overnight trip or doing something fun together. My three oldest were able to make choices pretty quickly but my youngest, she is very different. She is a sweet and funny second grader but has the attitude you would expect of the baby in the family, just bigger. Recently, she told us about an exhibit about Vincent Van Gogh.  In the Beyond Van Gogh exhibit, his paintings come to life. She calls him “Mr. Van Gogh” and told us she had to go.  She learned about Van Gogh in art class from her teacher, Mrs. Quinn.  She seemed excited so how could I refuse some one on one time?

This past Saturday we went all by ourselves. As we entered, they scanned our tickets and told us about the three rooms to come.  I decided that she had to take the lead on where and when she wanted to move. The first room was a winding gallery about his life, but she didn’t seem too interested.  The second room was a waterfall of his paintings projected onto the wall and floor.  As she stood in front of me, I watched her look around. For a child that tends to constantly be on the move, she stayed in one spot seemingly absorbing the color and sounds. After almost 10 minutes, she told me it was time to move to the last room.  This final large room was filled with constantly changing colors from his paintings. She started pointing out paintings she recognized from class, told me what ones she liked best and asked what I thought. I watched my littlest one transform before my eyes as she interacted with the colors all around her. She chased images of flowers and got up close to paintings that she connected with. We took a seat on a bench, not saying anything, but enjoying the experience and time together. Even though we sat there for a quite some time, when she told me it was time to go, it all seemed so short.

I started this post talking about giving. In our capitalistic society, our minds quickly go to what to request or buy. Sometimes the gifts we receive are unexpected.  An art teacher gave my child a gift of love for “Mr. Van Gogh”. What she didn’t realize, she also gave a priceless gift that one Dad will never forget. Thank you, Mrs. Quinn, for being the teacher all students deserve.