October Celebrations

 

The month of October is a special one in my extended family. Besides Halloween, a seemingly large proportion of my family were born during the month. My maternal grandmother and mother were born three days apart but in very different years of course. My closest cousin was born two days before my birthday.  My birthday isn’t just mine but is shared with a great aunt, a first cousin and a second cousin.  Then there is my third child, Keira.  She was born on Friday the 13^th.  A comparison to the horrors associated with such a date could be a reach expect she truly is her own person.  Let me translate that for all the non-parents out there…she gives me a run for my money, and she is still only in 4^th grade.

As parents we expect all our children to be somewhat different, but it astonishes me that my four are so very different despite sharing similar DNA.  My only son, Evan, is the oldest. He has many of the traits that the oldest child often has in families.  He’s a bit cautious because as new parents we were worried about breaking him.  He also tends to try and be the boss. I’m sure it’s just from being the oldest and has nothing to do with his father being a school administrator and superintendent for more than 15 years. Typically, the first born is a type A overachiever, focused on good grades and pleasing his/her parents.  Well, he does well for himself, but that Type A personality trait skipped him and went to his younger sister and my eldest daughter.  Maybe it’s the new middle schooler in him.

Jenna is a go getter.  I thought I pushed myself but she is at a different level.  She takes her studies seriously because she wants to be a Supreme Court Justice like Ruth Bader Ginsburg. She’s also very social, making and keeping friends easily. She is helpful at home and tends to act like a little version of her mother, all in good ways. When our other two daughters were born, she was the big helper, especially for our youngest, Kenzi. Kenzi is almost three years younger so maybe Jenna thought of her as a real-life doll.

Kenzi as the youngest absorbed all the doting behavior from her siblings.  She learned very quickly she could get her siblings to do things for her.  While they finally did catch on to her mild manipulation, she still gets away with more than anyone else.  Ahh, the classic baby of the family syndrome. She now uses humor as a way to get attention and her way.  And to be honest, she makes me laugh when I don’t want to let her know she is funny. From an early age she was our little terror.  As a toddler, she made a face that looked like a Chucky doll.  Because we laughed, she kept making the face until it got to the point we dressed her up as Chucky for Halloween.  The picture attached to this blog post is when she was just over three years old.

This brings me back around to our crazy Keira.  All our children are their own person, but she takes it to a whole new level. She’s an original in so many ways.  While most kids at a young age might be obsessed with being an astronaut or police officer or doctor, Keira’s first choice was to be a WWE wrestler like Ronda Rousey. She can be a princess but rough and tumble at the same time.  When us adults exercise, our face tends to tell then story of how much fun we aren’t having.  Watch kids when they run, and you will often see a smile.  She still smiles ear to ear as she runs around the karate studio or during gym class. Who else will work on their Chromebook while hanging upside down? That’s our Keira.

As our kids grow, we worry about them and what they will become.  We worry about the decisions we make and whether we are doing a good job as parents.  Despite there being a ton of books on parenting and everyone willing to give their opinion, we really are just trying to figure it out as we go.  The same thing happens to us educators.  We constantly reflect on if we are making a difference, how to reach that distant child, or whether we are doing the right thing. The struggle is far greater now as we are still dealing with a pandemic that has caused trauma for so many. But then our children give us signs that we are doing right by them.  They say thank you, I love you or give us a hug out of nowhere. They bring up memories from things we did together that show the impact we have had on their lives.  And there are the times they create something for us.  Maybe it’s a picture, homemade card, even a story they make just for us.  Those of the gifts I love best.  For my recent birthday, Jenna made me a collage of pictures she put together.  The pictures were of different family members including me being goofy dad. Her collage gave me a small glimpse of how she sees me through her own eyes. It also gave me a glimpse that I’m doing alright as a dad and that’s the best gift any of us that have or work with children could ever ask for.